Bad Golf’s John Robins: “I shot 102, but I was in an incredible mood”
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Bad Golf’s John Robins recently turned 40, and to celebrate he headed to Ireland for the golf trip of a lifetime…
In his exclusive Today’s Golfer column, the Edinburgh Comedy Award winner talks us through the best shot he’s ever seen and tells us what he learned from some of the toughest conditions he’s ever played in.
When Alex Horne and I film rounds for our YouTube Channel Bad Golf, work commitments limit how far afield we can go. We’re lucky to have lots of wonderful clubs nearby, but it does mean I play quite similar style courses. I’m slap bang in the middle of parkland country, so when the opportunity came around to sample something a little more dramatic I jumped at it.
As for many people, holidays have been thin on the ground of late. So as my 40th birthday stomped into view, I decided to do something I’ve always wanted to do – chuck my clubs in the car and drive around Northern Ireland playing golf.
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My host was Belfast-based comedian and golfer Andrew Ryan, who I’ve known from the comedy circuit for many years. He’d curated a wonderful taste of golf in Northern Ireland, taking in Castle Rock, Galgorm Castle and Clandeboye.
Each was fantastic in its own way. Galgorm (below) was impeccable, feeling every inch the championship course it is, hosting numerous events including The Northern Ireland Open.
We were joined for the final few holes by a solo golfer we asked to make up a three-ball. My abiding memory of Galgorm was seeing the best shot I’ve ever witnessed. This guy was a one-handicapper and as delightful as it was to see regulation par after par, the standout moment came when his drive went into some woodland (about seventy yards ahead of our efforts). Assessing his lie I was imagining how I would punch out whilst avoiding the myriad of trees from a ball lying low in the leaves, sticks and bark of the forest floor.
What I didn’t think was possible was to pick up a six-iron like it was nothing at all and put the ball to within ten feet on an elevated green 190 yards away. It was absolutely breathtaking to watch.
I think The Dufferin course at Clandeboye, below, is one of my favourite courses I’ve ever played. We had such a warm welcome, with all hands on deck to work out how someone registered with England Golf can enter a score away from home. (Come on England Golf! Sort it out! Surely the whole point of the WHS was to make this kind of thing easy!).
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Admin aside the course is absolutely beautiful, and every hole has some interest without ever seeming gimmicky. It was impeccably maintained but also completely in keeping with the rugged landscape of the area. I will definitely be going back there.
And then there was Castle Rock, pictured below.
Royal Liverpool is the only previous links course I’ve played – you can read all about that experience, here. But if you want to have everything that links can throw at you, Castle Rock is an absolute must.
Situated between a railway and The North Atlantic ocean, the view from the 17th tee is one of the most incredible sights in golf. The scenery is breathtaking, and the course has that wonderful feeling that the best courses do, of having been there for millennia, as if, before resting, on the seventh day God created eighteen holes just waiting to be discovered. Unfortunately for me, earlier in the week he had also created wind.
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As we approached Castle Rock Andrew asked what my target was for the round.
“If I break 90 I’ll be delighted,” I said. “What’s yours?”.
“I’m not setting myself a scoring target, I’m setting myself a mood,” he replied.
How wise he was, and how better equipped to cope with what we were about to encounter. As we stepped out of the car the wind hit us. We looked at each other.
“If I break 100 I’ll be delighted,” I said
We’d been told that a weather warning was in place and on hearing it was our first time there a few of the members wished us luck in a way that made it abundantly clear that we would need it. By the time we stepped onto the first tee, the winds had reached 40mph. I teed up my ball and turned to Andrew: “If I break 110 I’ll be delighted.”
And then it began.
I’m used to seeing my ball come straight back towards me but always preceded by the sound of it hitting a tree or clipping the lip of the bunker I’m in. Not until Castle Rock had I witnessed the sight of a well-struck eight iron stopping in mid-air only to roll back down the fairway towards me. Looking back at my shot tracking data on Arccos I can see that my driver distance varied from 149-289yrds. And these were the ones I connected with. It. Was. Insane.
By the fifth hole, I had abandoned any real hope of a good score. This was about survival. I just do not have the shots or experience to compete in conditions that would make even the most experienced links golfer think twice about heading out. But it was a very important lesson in not allowing your score to dictate your mood. Was I going to shout and swear and let my head drop in one of the most beautiful places I’ve ever been? Was I going to give up and walk in turning my back to the coast and undulating dunes? Absolutely not. Even if the wind broke putts more than the greens I was going to experience every second of its wild and unforgiving beauty.
Standing on the 18th tee, I realised Andrew had been absolutely right not to set himself a target score. I ended up shooting 102, but more importantly, I left the 18th green in the most incredible mood. Ultimately that’s what golf should be about.
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Bad Golf's John Robins on his golf experience in Ireland.
