Bad Golf’s John Robins: “The quiet beauty of a great golf lesson”

John Robins has turned to golf lessons as he aims to improve his game this winter.

In his exclusive Today’s Golfer column, the comedian, broadcaster and Bad Golf co-creator argues the interventionist case for a well-timed golf lesson and analyses our reluctance to ask for golfing help.

Winter is now upon us and as the mud clogs up my spikes, wedges flounder among the worm casts, and clearing leaves from the line of putts begins to test my patience, my thoughts inevitably turn to the more sheltered surroundings of the range.

I know a few people who write off playing in the winter months entirely, whether for handicap protection, car boot lining protection, or just the protection of their sanity – let’s be honest, conditions are tough.

Even the right shot with the right club may not have the desired result in winter. I’ve flushed a five iron on a par three for which I would usually take a seven, only to see it plug yards short of the green.

Calculations become much harder, and knowing your carry distances becomes essential. But how many of us truly know our carry distances? Even in a range with trackman or top tracer, with one-piece and distance restricted range balls it’s still a best guess.

Add in the cold temperatures and, I’ll be honest, as the scores went up my shoulders started to drop. That, combined with the war my driver has begun waging on me (see my last column), left me only one option. A golf lesson.

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How I love a lesson! I love them for two main reasons. Firstly, in a lesson I feel something of what it must be like to be a pro. It’s often said that we amateurs shouldn’t expect too much of ourselves because we don’t spend seven hours a day working on our swing, and rightly so. But for the sake of fifty quid, I get to experience the level of focus and attention to detail that the greats apply day in, day out.

And then there’s the second reason. That shot. That shot that comes after numerous duffs caused by the odd sensation of an adjusted grip or swing path or ball position. That shot that comes after your instructor somehow communicates something to your body that your body had been trying to tell you for months. That shot that feels like you didn’t even hit the ball at all.

A surprising amount of people have never had any kind of golf tuition. “Never had a lesson!” is a common phrase in golf, and those who utter it tend to fall into three categories. The ones who genuinely don’t care that much about their score, who play golf for the experience, the socialising. Those carefree players that I really envy and always try to emulate when I’m getting frustrated with the game.

The second group are those who know their game inside out and don’t want to risk upsetting the apple cart. They may play off single figures, they may be mid handicappers, they know their miss, they know their shape and the last thing they want is to add in anything unfamiliar. They are often natural ball strikers and those who have the muscle memory from playing at a young age that eludes me. I envy these players too.

But there is a third group who I do feel for…

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About five years ago I was chatting to a golf pro about their job, about some of the common mistakes golfers make and how easily they could be rectified. He said something that made me feel quite sad. “The thing is John, there’s a certain type of bloke who just isn’t able to ask for help. They either don’t want to admit there’s something they can’t do, feel they should be able to solve the problem themselves, or simply don’t have the vocabulary to ask for advice.”

This really stayed with me as I know exactly the sort of man (and it is mainly male golfers) who suffers this affliction. It’s something I’ve battled with too.

In my job as a broadcaster I also present a podcast called “How Do You Cope?” that discusses mental health, and the problem of men not talking enough or asking for help is a big issue. But I’d always assumed it was just problems like emotions, finances or work that some men found difficult to discuss, not their stuggles getting their three-wood airborne from a perfect lie?

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There’s no shame in discussing our failings and struggles, both on or off the course – it doesn’t make us less of a person. In fact it holds us back from being the person (or golfer) that deep down we want to be! If you’re reluctant to ask a better golfer how you can improve (and it can be intimidating to ask an expert who can do everything you can’t) remember that Tiger Woods once made a 10 on the par-3 12th at Augusta when the world was watching, and your pro has definitely done the same.

Think about the specific thing you want to address (you don’t have to pour every golfing woe out), and practise how to phrase it. For example, “I sometimes top my driver and it’s getting on my nerves”, or “The greens here are quite tricky, how do you read them better”. I’ll start…

I’ve been struggling with my iron striking. As a former cricketer who played mainly off the back foot, the idea of loading my weight onto the front is a muscle memory I find impossible to impart (the cover drive was not my speciality).

So I booked in with Wycombe Heights Golf Club sensei Duncan (Hi Duncan!). After half-an-hour of warming up and chatting, alignment rods, hip adjustments and a few dozen misstrikes, there it was. That shot. A six-iron so smooth I genuinely thought I’d missed the ball. And there it hung in air, with just a degree or two of draw, before disappearing into the blackness of the winter night. Perfection (Thanks Duncan!). I was ready to take on the world.

But here’s the rub. The golden rule of lessons, and one of the hardest disciplines in the whole of golf is: don’t take those thoughts with you onto the course!

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BUT IT’S SO HARD! I was convinced that by keeping in mind all the adjustments: the hip move, the alignment rod trick, the weight distribution, the shoulder thing, that I would be accompanied all round by that dreamy sensation of that one six-iron. But technical thoughts on the golf course are the most deadly thing you can carry.

As a result I gave a perfect display of the fifty or so duffs, toes and heel strikes that had proceeded my breakthrough. And the fault is all my own. Duncan had done his job, he’d given me the tools to take to my practice, and I’d skipped that step because I was too eager to have that feeling again. After all, golf is not a game that is mastered in an hour.

So, off to the range it is, with my sticks and hip tweaks, where I sincerely hope they will stay!

WITB: Bad Golf’s John Robins

Click the club names to read reviews and tests of John’s clubs

Driver: Cobra King RadSpeed Loft: 10.5º set to 11.5º. Shaft: Tensei blue 65 reg

Hybrid: Cobra King Speedzone Loft: 2H. Shaft: Recoil reg

Irons: Cobra King Speedzone Lofts: 5-GW. Shafts: Recoil reg

Wedges: Cobra King MIM Lofts: 52º, 58º. Shafts: STD wedge shaft

Putter: Odyssey O-Works 2.0 R-Line

Golf ball: Bridgestone E6

Apparel: Puma

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